school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
