spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sext me about skeletons
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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