i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
operation have a gay friend backfired
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
