I want to stick my p in your. b.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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