Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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