Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
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How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
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but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
soo... how was my night?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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