I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize