i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
