Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
...so i touched it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize