I want to walk on stilts...naked
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
