Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
