Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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