You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
