I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Come on in and take your pants off
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