So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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