Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
nutella sex= disaster
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
