Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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