you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
