oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
