Barsexuality is the new black.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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