U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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