This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Randomize