The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
