oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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