This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
