He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
