we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
