I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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