Me too!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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