dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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