its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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