I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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