I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
