Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize