So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
