Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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