Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
