you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
