Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
