How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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