He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
