Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
