Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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