my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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