so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize