Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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