I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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