everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
