marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
