drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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