We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
