fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
