the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
