question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I need a burrito and a hug.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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