I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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