I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize