What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
