Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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