I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
