dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
