I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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