So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
