Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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