my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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