if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
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My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
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He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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