It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
