The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Everclear isn't food dammit
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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