If i come over, it means nothing
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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